Thanks for your interest in my novels. Here is a no cost chapter of The Last Shaman. I hope you enjoy it and I look forward to your comments.

cooled themselves with the hand fans provided by the local funeral home with their crude form of advertisement on the front. Brother Dale was in full biblical fury for over an hour when suddenly he stopped and pointed a finger of accusation toward me.

     Why have you deserted your heritage and calling?

     Who are you to deny the will of God?

     Your grandfather needed you and you deserted him in his time of trial.

     The whole congregation turned and looked in my direction then pointed to the front of the church where lay a coffin. I slowly stood up and thou I resisted I was pulled toward the open casket. I looked down and beheld my grandfather at rest and I stood motionless not able to turn my gaze away. I looked at the body of the gentle man I loved as a child and his long white beard and hair gave him the appearance of one of the old prophets. I bent forward wanting somehow to make up for the many lost years but realizing it was now too late. I ran my fingers through the fine white hair and whispered I love you grandpa.

     I was about to turn and leave but I glanced down for one final look. Suddenly his eyes flew open but not the piercing blue eyes I remember but black soulless eyes. He grabbed me by the arm and as he pulled himself out of the coffin, I screamed in terror. I tried to run but the grip was vise like and I couldn’t pull away. The body convulsed and a hideous creature stood before me cursing God and all that is Holy. I jerked away but other creatures just as grotesque surrounded me and as they closed in I could see the congregation leaving the church and all were singing, are you washed in the blood, in the soul cleansing blood of the lamb. I screamed and kicked and punched until I fell with a thud on the floor of my apartment.

     Oh my God, another nightmare, I said aloud.

     I was sweating profusely and I turned on every light in the house because I was still terrified. I poured myself a shot of blended whiskey and drank it down but this didn’t help as my mind raced for answers. I thought back on my childhood in the Appalachian Mountains and the circumstances that preceded the nightmares.

     Two decades had past since I physically escaped that place but escape is a fleeting pleasure. My wife had divorced me fifteen years ago and took my four-year-old daughter Jennifer to Pennsylvania to stay with her parents. It was a bitter divorce but we still wanted the best for our daughter so we honestly tried a few months later to patch it back together. I spent a week with her in Pennsylvania and we rekindled our relationship for a few days and it was just like the beginning of our marriage. Both being considerate and attentive to each others needs we spent intimate time together making love two or three times a day, we talked for hours and just hung out just enjoying each other but as always work called, starting a nasty fight between us and I had no choice but to leave.

     Four years later I spent two weeks with my daughter at her mother’s home and I honestly thought my wife and I would get back together. We made love like nothing had happened between us and it was wonderful spending time with her but again work took precedence over her and my daughter. The verbal battle we exchanged before I left was bitter and thinking back, I suppose that was the last time I spoke with her.

       The years ticked by and every good intention to spend time with my wife and daughter quickly got replaced by a pressing issue at work and so my daughter basically became a stranger. Although I hadn’t seen my wife and daughter or my grandfather in years, the loneliness overwhelmed me and about five years ago my wife succumbed to a long illness and two weeks after that my grandfather died. Grief quickly set in and though I always felt emotionally stronger than most, I fell into the dark void of depression. I go about my daily routine with no emotion or purpose and my well-meaning friends pat me on the back and tell me time will heal the pain. I smile and agree but these normal happy people have no clue about the frightening world I live in.

     Sleep has always been my way of dealing with traumatic events because the body will overcome if allowed to rest but I find no refuge even with this old friend. The night brings with it horrific dreams intertwined with vivid imagery of my grandfather and the day brings exhaustion and the inability to cope with reality without knowing why. As odd as it sounds, the only stable thing in my life is the guarantee of another nightmare when I lay down to sleep. I’ve accepted this behavior and learned to live with it the best I could over the last six years but this erratic lifestyle has taken its toll. I finally sought help from a psychoanalyst and his prognoses made some sense to me.

     Reality dictates your return and identification of your demon, he said. While under hypnosis your repetitive quote of save the innocent and protect faith gave me the clue I needed to help you. I believe something traumatic occurred in your early childhood and this memory is stuck in your subconscious.  Whatever occurred in the past wasn’t your fault and your mind is telling you to save yourself, you are the innocent. You alone command the authority to exorcise this fear but it involves going back to your childhood home and doing things you did as a child or a simpler explanation, you have to relive your childhood. Go to the places you traveled as a child, visit the people from your childhood, and hopefully this will jog your memory and bring to light the trauma you suffered as a child. Once on the surface, we can walk you back to a normal life.

     Although I told him nothing happened to me as a child I finally agreed to go because I felt if I didn’t do something soon, I would wind up in a mental hospital. I left his office yesterday with a tiny glimmer of hope and tonight’s nightmare has convinced me, I can’t stand this any more, I’m going home, I’m going home tomorrow. 

    The next day I phoned my boss, David Franklin, and told him where I was going in case they needed to contact me.

     We need you to stay in town Ray because of the GE contract; you are the only man that can handle it.

     I’ve been on medical leave for six months David, someone else can handle it.

     Look Ray, you make what, $200,000 a year? I’ll give you a flat $300,000 a year but you have to stay in town.

     David, you don’t understand, I said. If I don’t get away from here and find some answers, I’ll go nuts.

     You’ve put me in a difficult situation Ray, he said. You can be on extended leave for the next five years and I’ll pay you $300,000 a year and I’ll even draw up a contract to that effect but if you leave town when I need you the most, I’ll terminate your job effective immediately, no severance, no insurance, nothing.

     Let me get this straight I said. You’ll pay me top dollar to sit on my ass and do nothing here but you’ll fire me if I go away sit on my ass and do nothing there.

     Why are you doing this David, I’m sick and I need to take some time away from here, that’s all, and I’ll have my cell phone with me so all you have to do is call?

     I’ve told you your options Ray take it or leave it. 

    I have no choice David, it’s a matter of survival for me and I’m leaving today, so do what you have to do.

     You’re an idiot Ray he said and slammed the phone down.

     This stunned me because David had always been my mentor and he alone was responsible for the many promotions and the six-figure income I enjoyed. I am the proud recipient of a high school GED certificate and I could never have received the position I had in the company without his help. I worked hard and David always made sure I was in the most visible spot or project going and he always pushed my accomplishments to the Board of Directors. I owe him a lot but my only concern now has to be my health.

      I planned on staying a week with my uncle so I packed light for the trip. I left late in the afternoon knowing I couldn’t make it to OwsleyCounty before dark. I guess it was my way of dragging my feet against my decision to go back. I checked into a motel near Lexington for the night instead of driving straight through and the desk clerk was one of those extremely happy people, you know, the kind you want to choke. In spite of her giddiness, she was a beautiful woman with blonde hair and green eyes and I couldn’t help but notice her. We talked a little and she was a widower like me and I had the feeling I knew her from somewhere but shrugged it off as wishful thinking.

     I picked up my bag and started to my room when she said, I normally never do this but would you like to have dinner with me tonight?

     I was surprised by the invitation and I thought why would this beauty want to spend an evening with me, I’m not very handsome and conversation with me would be better served if she talked to her self?

     Well she said, how about it?

     I’d love to, I replied.

     Great, Ill pick you up in an hour she said.

     I turned to walk away and it dawned on me I didn’t even know her name.

     This is embarrassing, I said, but what’s your name?

     It’s Gail, Gail Johnson she said.

     I’m Ray Hayes and I’ll see you in an hour Gail.

     I went to my room not believing what just happened because I would normally reject any invitation to go out because I don’t want to be social or happy, I’ve grown accustom to my misery. I can’t put a finger on it but something about her pushed its way through my defenses and made it feel right to say OK. I showered and an hour later to the minute she was knocking on my door.

     Are you ready to go Ray?

     Yes but where are we going Gail?

     I’m going to take you to my place and fix you my specialty, hamburgers and chips.

     I laughed and said, you read my mind.

     We spent the evening together sharing our stories of life and love and she told me she owned that motel and several more in Lexington. It was two a.m. and I stood up to leave but she asked, what would you like for breakfast, I can’t serve you breakfast in bed if I don’t know? 

     I hadn’t made love to a woman in five years and excitement raced through my body at the thought of it so I gladly accepted her invitation. We made love through the night and for the first time in years I felt happy, no depression and most importantly, no nightmares. I woke the next morning to the sound of Gail bringing me breakfast in bed. We made love once more and she begged me to stay in town for a while.

     You’re a very special man Ray Hayes and I don’t want to lose you.

     It had been a long time since I had feelings for anyone so I hugged her and promised to stay a few days. The few days turned into three weeks and the time with her has been amazing. She is the perfect woman for me and we seem to fit like a glove except for the fact that she hates animals. I decided to forget about my trip to OwsleyCounty and I told Gail I wanted to find employment in Lexington and stay with her permanently. She was totally overjoyed and insisted I move into her home immediately, which I did.

     The next month was laughter and endless lovemaking and I knew my life was about to take a turn for the better. The only drawback to my paradise, I started having nightmares again but worse than before. Grandfather was calling for me to come home and Gail somehow found a spot in this psychotic place except she wasn’t my beautiful soul mate but some kind of monster. After two weeks of these dreams I told Gail I had to go to OwsleyCounty and try to put an end to the nightmares. She erupted in anger and though I tried to understand her reaction, it seemed out of place. 

     If you go there you can forget about me she said.
     Why are you acting this way Gail, I asked?

     Screw you she yelled, if you try and leave I swear I’ll tell the police you raped me.

     Are you crazy, I love you and I’ll be back in one week, one week Gail?

     You don’t love me or you’d stay here with me instead of going to that hillbilly pigpen you call home.

     This remark enraged me and I threw my bag together and headed out the door. I fired up the car and started down her driveway to the main road glad to rid myself of this situation. I was about to turn onto the main highway when I felt a violent rear impact. I looked out the back window and Gail had rear-ended me with her car. This is it I thought as I threw open the door to my car. I ran back and jerked her out of her car and yelled you crazy bitch, what’s wrong with you?

She spun around and hit me in the head with a tire iron and the impact knocked me senseless for a moment. I fell to the ground and Gail was screaming, you wouldn’t listen would you Shaman, we didn’t want to kill you but you leave me no choice.  She raised the tire iron again and I couldn’t defend myself because I couldn’t see through the blood on my face. She’s going to kill me I thought but the sound of her screams stopped everything.

     I rolled away from her and wiped the blood from my eyes. Gail had an expression of sheer terror on her face and she started running back to her house. What the hell, I thought as I looked around. Nothing was here to terrify someone that bad, maybe she’s crazier than I am. Maybe she came to her senses and thought she killed me but whatever the reason, thank God it’s over. I viewed the damage to my car and it’s not that bad so I’m outta here and away from that crazy bitch.

     I wiped the blood from my face and the cut wasn’t too bad just a deep scratch.  I started to get in my car but I felt something rubbing against my leg. Where did you come from fella I said as I picked up an old street cat? He looked worse than I did so I drove to the nearest convenience store and bought a package of band-aids and a few cans of cat food that he devoured with gusto. I set him out and started to leave and I thought, why not, I could use some company. I opened the car door and called for him but he walked over, thanked me with a rub against my leg and bolted away down an alley. I guess he likes his freedom I thought as I pulled the car onto the highway and headed for OwsleyCounty. I was thinking about the scene with Gail and I wondered why she tried to kill me and she called me Shaman, I hadn’t heard that word since my grandpa told me ghost stories as a child? I finally concluded she called me Raymond and I misunderstood her. I was just thankful to be alive and away from her although deep in my heart I knew I would miss her.

          I drove for an hour and as soon as I caught my first glimpse of the mountains, take me home country roads boomed from the radio. It was too weird but I shrugged it off as coincidence and continued my drive toward the small town of Beattyville, Kentucky. I was born in this impoverished region and now I come back to face an unknown, my nightmares.